


In The Moonlight, We Feel As One

by silent_knives_wielder



Category: A3! (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, M/M, Pre-Slash, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:09:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25255951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silent_knives_wielder/pseuds/silent_knives_wielder
Summary: Jealousy.Juza is jealous. He’s so jealous it hurts.He’s jealous of Juza. He can’t believe that even in the one place where he’s been accepted he still wants more.
Relationships: Hyoudou Juuza/Sakuma Sakuya
Comments: 3
Kudos: 52
Collections: A3! Rare Pairs Week 2020





	In The Moonlight, We Feel As One

**Author's Note:**

> For a3rarepairweek2020 day 1: Jealousy

Jealousy. 

Sakuya is loved by everyone, he’s so sweet and wonderful that no one can resist him. Even Sakyo has a soft spot for him, caving when he asked for an addition to his costume that went over budget.

He’s so loved it makes Juza’s stomach fill with a negative emotion, knowing he’ll never be loved like that, watching something he can never have.

Juza is jealous. He’s so jealous it hurts. He can’t believe himself, holding negative emotions towards a boy who would probably rip his own heart out and give it to him if he asked.

But he can’t help it. He can’t help looking at the way the director pats his head and wishing that someone would do that to him.

He knows why though. The kind of people who hold negative emotions towards Sakuya are the kind of people who don’t deserve things like that.

He wishes he could look away but he can’t. Sakuya is a shining star of a person, always glowing with talent.

  
  
  


Jealousy.

Juza is so impressive it makes Sakuya feel like nothing. He can beat the shit out of people without breaking a sweat and then buy cake for Muku and delight in his happiness.

Juza is the best of both worlds, at a time when Sakuya doesn’t feel like part of one.

Sakuya knows people call him “pure,” Itaru says he wants nothing.

He knows that’s not true, he wants badly. 

He wants badly the respect that Juza can call with one look, Sakuya is 18 and gets treated like he’s five. 

He wants, for once, to be seen as more than just a happy go lucky child.

He’s jealous of Juza. He can’t believe that even in the one place where he’s been accepted he still wants more.

He’s been kicked out of more homes than he can even name, has lost so much over and over again, sometimes it feels like smiling is all he has.

Juza has what he wants, respect, strength, and a family.

Sakuya knows the theater is his family, but it’s not the same as having had people who’ve known you from birth, a home outside of the theater. A place where you could walk in and your parents would come out and hug you. He knows the director tries to be there for him, and sometimes Itaru or Chikage will ask him questions like a parent (they both look kind of uncomfortable but they try.) But when everyone goes home for the holidays and everyone at school talked about cousins and aunts and uncles it’s hard not to feel like he’s missing something.

He wishes he could look away, but Juza is like a hurricane, sucking his attention with no hope of getting it back.

  
  
  


There was a time when Juza might’ve felt like absolutely no one was there for him.

He knows now that’s not true, that that was never true. Even before Mankai he had Kumon and Muku, but it feels nice to have non-family members as an option. 

He doesn’t really want to talk about this to anyone though. He knows Omi will listen kindly, Sakyo will scold him but ultimately give good advice and the director will try and motivate him, but he’s scared that if he told someone it would get back to Sakuya.

(He’s also scared that if he told someone they would start to shun him but he knows that’s unreasonable and tries not to worry about it.

It doesn’t work.)

It’s hard to keep it all in though. He knows he leaves the room when Sakuya comes in and it confuses him, he knows Banri looks at him suspiciously whenever he abruptly leaves the room and is starting to put it together, and he knows that Sakyo has already put together that he’s avoiding Sakuya, he just hasn’t said anything.

Juza really doesn’t want to deal with this though. He’s not good at dealing with his emotions at all, worse at making them go away.

He just needs to get over himself. He’s not really even a person deserving of spending time with a sweetheart like Sakuya, much less holding negative emotion towards him. 

He considers pretending that he’s fine but even though he’s made strides as an actor, he’s still not that good. 

He just wants to feel like he’s good enough, he doesn’t want to look at others with jealousy.

He sighs and gets out of bed. He’s not gonna be able to fall asleep like this but maybe if he goes to the courtyard he can run over lines and get better at acting.

He’s careful to be quiet, avoiding turning the lights on and slipping out to the courtyard. 

It isn’t until he’s out there that he realizes someone else was already there. He felt his heart creep into his throat.

“Juza?” Asked Sakuya, looking at him. “Is everything okay?”

  
  
  


Sakuya doesn’t know what he’s doing wrong.

He hasn’t seen Juza for more than five seconds for several weeks.

He doesn’t know if Juza has picked up on the fact that Sakuya is envious of him but he really hopes not. He doesn’t know how he would explain himself if Juza asked him about it.

He wants, simultaneously, to never have to look at Juza again, and to return to being friends with Juza.

He sighed and then climbed out of bed. 

There was no way he could go to sleep now, so he might as well practice his lines.

He slipped out into the courtyard, turning on only one light for him to be able to read.

As he opened his script he let himself get reimmersed in the world of the show, he could almost feel the acting and smell the fresh paint from the sets; he couldn’t wait to start practicing on stage. 

It wasn’t until he was right next to him that Sakuya realized Juza was outside too.

“Gah!” He dropped his script. Juza looked at him with a sort of tired look in his eyes but his face didn’t really change.

In the moonlight, with his hair down and gently blowing in the wind Juza looked so different, almost magical.

He picked up Sakuya’s script and held it out for him. Sakuya took it and then Juza sat on the ground next to him.

“You couldn’t sleep?” Asked Sakuya. Juza shook his head and opened his script to a certain page. 

Sakuya hummed and then turned back to the page he was on. He hesitated and then stood up and started running through the monologue. 

It wasn’t until he was done and turned around that he noticed Juza watching him with intense eyes. 

“...That was really good.” He said softly. 

Time stopped for Sakuya, he repeated the words over and over again as his face turned red.

“Ah. Ah! Thanks!” He said quickly and then sat down.

Juza paused and then stood up with his own script. As he started his own monologue Sakuya felt himself get lost into the character, Juza used his body language to mimic an arrogant merchant, threatening his customers.

When he was down he turned to look at Sakuya who was watching with a stunned expression. “Juza that was amazing!” He said excitedly, face breaking out into a smile.

“‘S not that amazing. I was just copying how Banri moves.” He mumbled sitting down again.

“But, um, I think being able to observe and pick up on exactly how a person moves to create a feeling and then being able to copy that so well, um, that’s really cool!” He rambled. 

Juza looked at him with a sort of blank expression before smiling softly. “Thanks.”

There was a silence, but not an uncomfortable one. “You’re amazing too, okay? Don’t forget that.”

Sakuya flushed. “Th-thank you.” Juza hummed and then Sakuya felt him lean onto him.

“Thank you, Sakuya.” He whispered. 

Sakuya hummed in response.

And in the moonlight, they both felt as one.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!


End file.
